Going Deeper

It felt like it had been a while since I'd written a group missive, and I think now's as good a time as any. The past couple of weeks have been a roller-coaster ride, lots of sadness and discomfort layered over the gladness to be here, and perhaps I didn't want to write from one of the darker places.

Today, I feel infinitely grateful for my blessings. About an hour ago, as I lay on my back on a straw path between a row of kale and a row of cilantro, warm under the sun in the garden, looking up at blue sky and big waving redwood trees, and talked about life with a new dear friend, my contentment was pretty near complete.

It felt like the new moon this month was a heavy time around here. Many people in slightly funky moods, and the weather was overcast and a little gloomy, and I had to come to terms with the fact that I felt pretty flat, and that my love affair with every moment of every day had reached the end of its honeymoon phase. But life is ever-changing, and I certainly would prefer to be feeling yacky (sic) and challenged by my own limitations in a place like this, rather than in the middle of a rainy Vancouver winter (sorry, Vancouver friends!)

The blessing of the darker time was getting to really feel the love and support of a few key people here, and to give it back in return. This is the beauty of community, and a large part of what I came here seeking. And this does not necessarily come built-in to a community, is what I'm learning. Not everyone holds the same intentions, or the same strength of intention. It's been good for me to clarify what mine are, and how important they are to me.

So I've been here over a month now, five weeks and two days, to be precise, and I've been getting a kick, lately, out of laughing at some of the things that this fairly urban girl has learned to do, or adjust to. For instance, I seem to have gradually slid into what seems to be a way of life around here -- sporadic and infrequent showering. HA!! There's a chronic water shortage here, and residents are asked to only use three minutes of running water a day in the shower. Most people seem to prefer to shower every three or four days, and indulge in slightly more time. I have to say that I never would have believed that I could live like this... and I wouldn't want to, in the city. But we don't eat garlic or onions here (for Ayurvedic reasons) which I think keeps us less stinky and I can't say I even miss my morning shower, most days.

What else? I've been knitting up a storm, and getting enough admiration for my projects that I'm thinking about putting them in the bookstore here for sale. I'm not sure I'd actually earn enough from them to be worth the time, though.

Oh, how about the yoga side of things? That's so well-integrated into my life here that I hardly think about it, in some ways. It's been interesting. Before I came here, as some of you know, I had a fairly regular practice, which mostly consisted of asana (the Sanscrit term for physical postures). Being here has confirmed for me that I do have a pretty solid foundation in that area, which I'm glad for, as I've been able to take that and build on it here in the absense of much actual asana instruction. So that's been empowering. What has been humbling, though, and where I have been learning a ton, is in all the other aspects of this huge science, or system, of yoga (which is more or less what I anticipated). I've been learning a lot of pranayama (breathing exercises, basically), and soaking up as much theory and philosophy as I can gather. There is so much to learn here.

Which is a large part of why I don't think I can leave at the end of this month, as I had originally thought I would do, when I left Vancouver back in December. And so I applied for YSC (Yoga, Service and Community) II, and tomorrow I have my interview with the Personnel committee, to discuss my staying on for another two months. I have been approached and asked to work in the Programs Office here, thanks to my experience working in a similar environment at the Hollyhock Leadership Institute, and I also gather that the head cook here is eager to have me in the kitchen more (I guess I actually know more about food and cooking than I thought! Must have soaked up something over all those years of watching my master cook mother in action!). I'm planning to tell them that if I'm going to be inside for both office and kitchen shifts, then I also need a couple of outdoor (preferably garden) shifts as well. Because I didn't come here to spend all my time indoors again!!

Though I really don't want to leave here yet, I do miss my community back home, and I miss Canada in general, actually. Thankfully there are a number of Canadians around here, so I can pronounce things funny, and use "eh" a lot, and reflect upon the peculiarities of Americans, and not feel alone. :) I have been loving meeting people from all over the place, though -- finding out what it's like to grow up in Kansas, or South Carolina, or wherever.

So that's about all the news from here. I'm going this afternoon to walk to the Buddhist monastery up the road, because I've heard that there are Chinese New Year celebrations afoot that would be neat to check out.

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PS. I actually wrote this several hours ago, and the internet was down, as it turned out. So now I can report that I had a most beautiful time at the monastery -- they are a community in the tradition of Thich Nhat Hahn (sp?) and I was there with my friend Eric, who is very very very into TNH. We spent almost an hour talking with a monk there, who invited us to come any morning we want, at 6am, for sitting practice. Which I intend to do sometime soon. We also got to stand inside the biggest bell I've ever seen in my LIFE (2 tonnes, or something? from Vietnam) while he rang it. Whew....... that was intense.